How Nathan Shut Up and Learned to Love BtVS
by southernbangel
Summary: Nathan (reluctantly) learns to love Buffy the Vampire Slayer.


**This is a companion piece to a story written years ago, _How Angel Shut Up and Learned to Love OTH_. My two greatest pairing loves are Buffy/Angel (the OTP to end all OTPs) and Nathan/Haley. I love writing cheesy fluff for these couples so combining the two pairings is pretty much my ideal. After the angst of the latest chapter of _In Your Eyes_ , I needed to write some dumb fluff. It made me laugh and hopefully it will do the same for you.**

 **There is absolutely no redeeming quality to this story.**

* * *

Nathan loves his wife. He thinks the sun and moon rise in her eyes. She is his favorite person to spend time with, hands down. He adores every single thing about Haley James Scott.

Well, except one thing.

* * *

"Seriously, Hales? You're watching this show again?"

"Seriously, Nathan? Are you bothering me while I'm watching my show?"

Nathan stands in the doorway to their bedroom, his arms crossed over his chest as he studies his wife, who is currently curled up on their bed, enthralled in that stupid show she insisted on watching. He loves Haley, he truly does, but he does not understand this… this… _obsession_.

It is a show about _vampires_ , for God's sake. And something about a slayer? Whatever the hell that is. All he knows is that Haley believes it is the greatest show ever made.

(Sometimes when he encounters his wife watching the show—which is a _lot_ —he truly wonders what he had gotten himself into when he married her.)

(Then he looks at her and remembers, _oh yeah, his wife is the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen_.)

(But still. He wonders.)

He enters the room to head to the enjoined bathroom, glancing at the television to see what episode she is watching. He snorts when he notices it's his wife's favorite episode.

(And dear lord, the fact that he can identify the episode shames him more than anything. But seriously, Haley watches it constantly. It was bound to soak into his brain at her millionth rewatching of the episode.)

"Shut up, Nathan."

"I didn't say anything, Haley."

"No, but I know what you're thinking," she retorts. "I do _not_ watch this episode all the time. And why are you even bothering me right now?"

Nathan scoffs in disbelief. "Oh, so now I'm bothering you. For wanting to, I don't know, spend some time with my wife?"

(He didn't actually, he is watching the Lakers game downstairs but she doesn't need to know that.)

Haley laughs. "Okay, sure buddy. I know the Lakers game is on."

(Goddamn, how does she do that?)

She continues, "And this is the little bit of alone time I get between the kids and work and you wanting to have sex all the time, so please let me enjoy it."

"So sex with me is a burden now?"

Offering him a shrug, Haley says, "Babe, you know that's not what I meant but right now—oh my god, Angel, no, don't do that!"

Nathan rolls his eyes, knowing he has lost his wife's attention but unable to resist the urge to continue picking at her.

(Haley is always hot but an annoyed Haley? Is smoking hot.)

"Sure, Haley. You say you didn't mean it, but it's been forever since we've had sex. What else should I think, but that you would rather spend your time with a television show over your devoted husband?" Sure, he's laying it on a bit thick but his wife is fun to tease. Especially over this stupid show.

"We had sex three hours ago, Nathan," she drawls, clearly unperturbed by his teasing.

"See? Forever. I'm wasting away here, Hales. In fact, I think," he grabs the waistband of his sweatpants and pretends to do a quick check, "yep, my penis has fallen off from lack of use."

"Oh my god," she laughs before throwing a pillow at him. "You are such a drama queen. And we wonder where Lydia gets it? But seriously, Nathan, I'm watching my show. Go back to your basketball game."

Nathan feigns hurt. "All I want to do is spend quality time with my wife, the woman who I love more than life itself, the mother of my children, my sun, my moon, the one I want to grow old wi—"

"Okay, Romeo," she interrupts. "You're not going to make me feel guilty. Not happening. Just—oh my god, this is the best part!"

Turning back to the television, he sees a large dark-haired man fighting with a tiny blonde girl. On top of some kind of cliff? What the hell is this show?

He goes to make a joke about what she is watching when he notices that Haley is mouthing along to the words and… are those tears in her eyes?

"Hales? Are you okay?"

She nods her head but after fifteen years of marriage, Nathan recognizes it as her "I'm going to say I'm okay but I'm really not okay" nod. Moving to the bed, he sits beside and rests his hand on her knee. "You sure, babe?"

This time, Haley shakes her head and starts crying. "It's just so sad and happy, all at the same time. They love each other so much but they can't be together and…" At this point, her words turn into incoherent babbling (something about a curse? What the fuck?) and all Nathan can do is put his arm around her and tuck her into his side.

"Hales, it's just a show. It's not real," he soothes her. Unsuccessfully, it appears, as she cries even harder.

"But everything is against them! They just want to be together but they can't," she cries against his shoulder, tears wetting his shirt.

"Why can't they?" He asks.

(Apparently he is a glutton for a punishment because in about five seconds he realizes what a terrible mistake he just made.)

Haley pushes herself from his side to sit up, wiping her eyes. "Oh Nathan, it's just so tragic. Buffy is a slayer and she kills vampires. But Angel _is_ a vampire and they're in love and she can't kill him because she loves him so much and he's a good vampire and it's just… it's so beautifully sad," she explains in a rush.

"So he wants to kill her?"

"No," Haley exclaims. "No, they're in love. See, Angel is a vampire with a soul—"

"Wait, what?"

(Seriously, what kind of show is this?)

Haley sighs. "Look, it will become clearer once you watch a couple of epis—"

"Wait just a second, I'm not going to watch the show!"

Haley stares at him. "But you were asking questions and it will just be easier to show you."

Nathan shakes his head. "Haley, I was just trying to comfort you. Hell, you were crying! What was I supposed to do, just sit there while you cried all over me?"

"It wasn't _all_ over you," she retorts, crossing her arms over her chest in a position eerily similar to when their youngest is pouting. "How do you even know you won't like it? All you do is make fun of it but I bet if you watched it, you'd enjoy it. And what do we tell the kids all the time? You have to try something before you say you don't like it."

"That's about getting them to eat Brussel sprouts, not watch some show about, I don't know, vampires and fairies!"

Haley laughs. "There are no fairies on the show."

Rolling his eyes, he scoffs. "Oh, excuse me. That makes it so much better then."

"I'll make you a deal. You watch a couple of episodes with me and if you still don't like it then, I'll do that thing you love so much." Haley quirks an eyebrow in challenge.

Oh, his wife is _good_. She knows he (a) can't resist a bet and (b) can't resist a bet when the prize is her. There is no way he's losing this bet. He can abso-fucking-lutely guarantee he will not like this show.

"Deal," he says as he reaches out to shake her hand.

"Deal," she echoes.

Four episodes later, Nathan sits on their bed, enthralled in the story unfolding on the television in front of him.

"Wait, Angel turns evil after they have sex for the first time?" He exclaims in disbelief. He did _not_ see that coming. And poor Buffy, the look on her face when Angelus mocks her…

Haley grins in triumph. "See, I told you that you would like the show!"

Shaking his head, he attempts to argue. "No, I don't. I mean, sure, Buffy and Angel have a great love and have so much against them but still they conquer it all and oh my god, I actually like this show!"

(Lucas and Clay will _never_ hear about this. Never.)

"I told you," Haley laughs delightedly. "It really is the best show. And Nathan, it just gets better. I mean, sure, when Angel leaves—"

"What, Angel _leaves_? After everything he and Buffy went through? He just up and leaves?"

Haley pats his knee reassuringly. "Oh honey, I know it's sad and believe me, Buffy and Spike have nothing on—"

"Buffy and _Spike_?! That bleached blonde vampire who tried to kill Angel?! _They_ get together? What the hell?" He is in total disbelief. There is no way Buffy would fall for Spike. Right?

"You and me both, babe. But honestly, it's an… interesting relationship in the last season. It's no Buffy and Angel, though."

"Well, who could be?"

(Oh dear god, what is happening to him?)

Haley snuggles beside him, lacing her hand with his. "Thank you for watching this with me. I know you thought it was silly, but, I don't know, I just love this show and I identify with Buffy and Angel. They kind of remind me of us, in a way."

Shaking his head, Nathan asks, "What? How on earth do are we similar to a vampire slayer and a vampire?"

Playing with his fingers, she takes her time to respond. "I mean, obviously not everything. But the whole 'bad boy turns good for the love of a woman.' Nathan, that's pretty much us to a tee."

"Yeah, but I didn't try to kill you after the first time we had sex," he teases.

"I said not everything."

The couple sits in silence for a few moments before they hear the slam of the front door and their teenage son bellowing "I'm home."

"Well, it looks like the real world is calling us," Haley says as she gets up and heads toward the door.

"Haley," Nathan calls after her. "Do you mind if I stay up here for a bit? I, uh, have some stuff to do."

Haley gives him a Chesire-grin and nods knowingly. "Sure, honey. No problem."

Nathan ignores the trailing sound of her laughter as she leaves the room and he turns on another episode.

 _fin_


End file.
